Dear Lillie #1

Dear Lillie,

Wow, it’s been a long time coming this letter. When I was pregnant I wanted to keep a record on this blog of pregnancy week by week and then update on every single thing you did, but what actually happened was I got very poorly in pregnancy and then you are actually a little bit of a hurricane now you are here.

You came into this world with the darkest hair, the most beautiful face and eyes that seem to say you’ve done this before. You knew how to feed straight away. The instinct was strong in you. But you wasn’t very well either. You had an infection and Jaundice so we spent our first days together in hospital. You had to have medications and be under an intense light. It was so hard not being able to cuddle for as long as I wanted. I craved you close to me. But I knew it was for your own good.


When we got home we didn’t rest like Mummy was told to – I wanted to show you off! And I also wanted to get you as much natural light as possible to keep that Jaundice at bay. You was a brilliant baby. You slept very well only waking every 4 hours for a feed. I loved those newborn cuddles. I loved our little family unit.


You grew quickly. You was staying awake longer each day – You smiled after a few weeks. At first this was in your sleep. I really wish I knew what you dreamed about. Whatever it was it made you happy. I would do anything for that gummy grin. 14724467_1255858921132507_3828378031580500494_n


We fell into the top up trap. I wanted to breastfeed you exclusively but you was a very hungry baby (probably because we had to top you up when you had your jaundice treatment) I was too shy to feed in public and pretty soon we was just breastfeeding for your night feed. When you started to sleep through my milk went too. At first I was sad about this, but you was thriving every single day.


I always remember being at Nanna Paulines, and she asked you “Where’s your Mammy” whilst swinging you round to me. When I said “Boo” you giggled. It came right from your belly. It was such an amazing sound that I cried. You laugh all of the time Pickle – You are such a happy little soul. Don’t ever lose that baby girl.


The world has thrown some trials to me and your daddy – we have had little tiffs. We have made some wrong choices and at one point we thought one of those choices was going to ruin your first Christmas. This really upset me as Christmas has always been such a magical time and this one was supposed to be the most magical. And in the end it was. As I realised it didn’t matter what Santa and Mummy and Daddy put under the tree for you, being with you at Christmas was more magical than I could have ever dreamed of.


You started eating food earlier than some people felt you should. But you knew what you was doing. You let me know you was ready and I trusted you. I am literally in awe of you everytime you try something new. Your face when you discover new flavours and textures. I love being part of that journey with you.


You’re such a funny little girl. You pout, you make funny noises. You have the biggest smile and your daddy always say you look at us full of love. I hope he’s right. I will always try my best for you, as you are quite literally the centre of my universe right now. My whole world revolves around you, and you only.


You’re almost 7 months old now. You eat lots of different foods, You smile all of the time (Unless you’re hungry. I think you get that from me!). You have two little teeth and you lost a lot of your dark hair, instead you have this kind of dark blonde / light brown hair with a few long straggles I cannot bear to chop off! You roll over and shuffle backwards. Not quite a crawl but you are definately on your way. I can see that little independant streak in you I have. You want to hold your bottle, you want to move around. But at the end of the day, you still need your mummy cuddles, and thats fine by me!


Love you my little Pickle. xXx