So, I did it. I had a baby! I still can’t quite believe it at times. Me, the girl who was never going to be able to have a baby… I’m now a Mum. Insane!!
So let’s discuss what happened. In the pregnancy I developed Gestational Diabetes and as I was on metaformin for it, this meant I would not be allowed to go over 38 weeks. So there was a recommended induction date of the 16th August suggested. Now, as you may recall, I’ve spent a lot of time in hospital during pregnancy so I have seen how they work. A pessary is given, and given 24 hours to work… and then if that doesn’t work you get another one… and then it would go to them popping my waters… 72 hours in total. This would have led me to the 19th August which is the same date my partner lost a child in 2009 so naturally I was rather anxious about this. Thankfully on one of my last appointments the consultant was really understanding about this and brought the date forward to the 14th August.
On the morning of the induction I had managed about 3 hours sleep the night before. I was so excited and petrified all at the same time. What should I expect? How long would it take? Would I be meeting my baby girl on that day. I woke up, and did my hair and make-up (like, it was going to last through labour!)
At 11.15am I was given my pessary, and by 11.45am the contractions had started. When the midwife inserted it, she said I was already 2cm dilated – Baby was coming anyway! I tried to do lots of walking, I really wanted to meet my baby girl. Contractions are categorically horrible, but it’s strange because as much as you are uncomfortable, you are also excited as each pain is one step closer to meeting the baby you have carried for the past 8-9 months.
At 10pm I was checked again and I was still only 2cm dilated. I was so upset by this – and drained. Contractions are also exhausting. Allan went home and I was alone. I was given some painkillers to try and get some sleep. I dozed off at 12.30am. At 1.50am I woke up with the worst pain I’d had all day. I went to the toilet and noticed my pessary had come out. I called for the midwife when I returned to my bed and as I lay down for her to insert the pessary back my waters went. I was told to phone Allan and she was going to contact the delivery suite. THIS WAS IT…. SHE WAS COMING.
Allan got there shortly afterwards, and the midwife checked me over again and I was 3cm dilated. Allan started packing up everything from around my bed as he bent down to get my shoes his e-cigarette fell out of his pocket and smashed everywhere. The one night he needed it the most! When the midwife from the delivery suite come to get me Allan phoned my mum who came to meet us there.
I was asking for an epidural, I say asking at this point I was begging but I was told I was now 8cm dilated and because of how quickly I had progressed I couldn’t have anything other than gas and air.. which I didn’t want. I quickly went from 8 to 9 and a half cm… but I seemed to stick there. All of my contractions were in my back so they stuck a monitor on her head. It was at this point I was told we was back to back – which is why labour was difficult.
After hours and hours of pushing a team of doctors seemed to appear from nowhere. They told me they had probably left me too long pushing and they was going to give me some assistance. I felt really guilty as Allan had never seen a natural birth but I just wanted a C-Section at this point but they told me it was going to be a drip, which gave me constant contractions. I don’t know what happened but the threat of that drip seemed to make me determined to push her out. I had a contraction where she turned the right way round, the next contraction her head came out (and both Allan and my mum cried) and then one final push and she was here. I had a baby in my arms. It was so surreal. I wasn’t crying, I didn’t feel this amazing rush of love… I was just numb. I looked down at this beautiful little girl who was showing off her lungs and I was dumbstruck. Did I really make this little girl. Was she actually mine. My mum got on the phone to my little sister and that’s when it hit me – I just cried and cried. I am finally a mummy.